Middle East Trip: Epilogue

Epilogue

I write this now some nineteen days after returning from Syria. Slowly but surely I have readjusted to life at home. Initially the first week or so was marked with extreme lethargy but I experienced no depression or emotional let down after the mission trip. Every once in a while a sight or smell will bring back strong memories. One morning as I ran the smell of diesel fumes mixed with the odor of sweat brought back strong images of walking the streets of Damascus in the heat. But by now life has returned to “normal” but it does cause me to reflect on how I might have changed because of this trip, or that it would be a shame to have gone through such an intense experience and be unaltered.

I can think of a couple of external behaviors that remain changed so far, and hopefully they are indicative of some internal modifications as well. One is an inability to watch TV. The time in Syria was a time of lessened distractions, of being more keenly tuned into the presence of God, and I am loath to give that up. In my life television tends to be the bow that Satan uses to deliver his flaming darts. When I left I was not a big fan of TV, but watched a lot of news and sports and the occasional movie or TV show, particularly the last hour or so before bed. In the almost three weeks since returning I have watched a little bit of two football games (one with friends where I probably annoyed everyone chatting constantly during the game), a bit of news in the morning and no shows in their entirely in the evening. Sheila loves to watch shows at night and I will sit for a little while and watch and talk but I so far I have not been drawn into the characters or the plot. For me this reduction has helped to keep my focus on how God in his love and mercy continues to bless all life on earth and have particular spiritual blessing for those He calls His children.

The other is a greater outward demonstration of the love I have for fellow believers. I am even more prone to hug and encourage or connect my touch and conversation and I seem to simply say “I love you” much more. God has continued to impress on me the importance of the witness we give when we just simply love one another. Sometimes that may include deeds that help the one you love; sometimes it just being willing to climb into their world for a little while and listen and simply sit with them in a particularly messy mud puddle.

As to what God does with our trip to the Middle East I am entrusting that to Him. After processing over four hundred images of my own, after spending maybe fifteen hours at least working through my journal, I feel ready to move on to what it is God has in store for me next. If that includes a return trip to the Middle East, fine; if that includes a career change, fine; if it means life stays relatively the same I am okay with that. The important thing for me is that I stay aware of God’s presence, that He has and continues to change me, and that whatever comes is okay as long as I am able to experience Him in that situation.